Amy vs Fruit: What a peach

Part one – fun peach facts

I am sitting in my friend Ollie’s kitchen, staring at a peach and looking worried. He is already halfway through his and he is telling me about the pit in the middle.

“It’s about the size of an eyeball, and you’re not supposed to eat it. Why do you look so worried? I guess eyeball does sound gross, it’s not that gross. It’s about the size of… Of… No, it’s like an eyeball. Sorry. Are you still not eating it?”

People are always amazed by how weird I am around fruit, but I swear they genuinely panic me. I can’t just bite into a peach like it’s not a big deal; it IS a big deal.

The skin feels fuzzy in my hands, which is better than the hairy raspberries, but only just.

“Shall I read you some peach facts to get you in the mood?” Ollie asks. He picks up his phone and starts giving it commands because we live in the future. “Google peach facts.”

Did you know that the peach is a member of the rose family, and there are over 700 varieties of the fruit?

Did you also know that the peach tree plays an important role in the Shinto creation myth of Izanagi and Izanami no Mikoto?

Did you know that children in China used to wear carved peach pits around their necks to keep demons away?

I feel like I have learnt a lot about peaches, but not what they taste like. I can’t really handle Ollie watching me, so when he leaves the room I take my chance and bite into it. As expected, the fuzzy skin feels weird and kind of horrible, but the fruity taste is sweeter than apples and pears, or at least that sharp fruity taste isn’t so distracting. Wary of accidentally eating the pit, I bite all the way around. It’s much better when there is no longer any skin to break through. I do better than usual, but I still can’t get away from that tartness. That’s why I liked bananas more than all the others. Are there any more fruits that don’t have that?

Part two – peach upside down cake

Apparently the first time Hattie ate peaches, she ate them in a peach upside down cake and felt “emotional”.

It’s election night, and I have about nine hours of obsessively watching David Dimbleby ahead of me, but there’s just enough time to make a pre-election cake. I’ve been riding various sugar/caffeine/adrenaline waves since about lunchtime and I’m pretty much relying on that to keep me going. By the time you’re reading this, anything could have happened! Nigel Farage could have lost his seat and resigned! Prime Minister #Milibae could be in charge! Fear of an impending environmental apocalypse could have unexpectedly swept the Greens into power! Who knows what a glorious world you’re living in, future readers.

Back to the peaches.

We used this BBC GoodFood recipe, except with no raspberries and more cinnamon. Classic Amy.

 

Step one: line the cake tin and artfully place the tinned peaches around the bottom, like a beautiful flower.

 

Step two: Make the cake batter in the usual sort of way. In our house, that means throwing it all into a bowl in one go, stirring it together, and then Hattie licks out the butter carton when we’re done. No, not the cake batter, which is normal – the actual raw Lurpak.

Oh, Hattie.

Then pour the cake batter on top of the peaches and put in the oven. So simple! So fun!

Step three: It takes about an hour to cook because our oven is stupid.

 

Verdict: It’s good! Personally I would recommend eating it straight out of the oven and then mashing the piping hot peach into the cake so it’s all mushed up together and everything’s so warm that you barely even notice you’re eating fruit at all.