Food Porn Friday Episode 1: The Egg Yolk

Happy Friday everyone! We know it’s been a long week, and you’re probably already excited for the weekend’s brunching possibilities. I’ll be here every Friday to get you salivating and your tastebuds tingling.

If you’ve ever wanted to read about food from someone who is wrong about literally everything, you can’t go far wrong with the Guardian’s How To Eat column. I remember reading their explanation of How To Eat A Boiled Egg last year, and sitting in open mouthed confusion. I’m not sure what’s worse, their total dismissal of toasted soldiers, or their insistence in removing the entire egg white from the shell and putting it in a sandwich – why not just fry it, you Neanderthal?!

Photo by Mowie Kay from www.mowielicious.com

Photo by Mowie Kay from mowielicious.com

This is the perfect boiled egg. I learned how to cook it from Heston Blumenthal, but it is not technical wizardry:

You put an egg in a small saucepan of cold water. Put your pan on the hob and bring it to the boil. As soon as your water is boiling, put a lid on it, and take it off the heat entirely – dump it on your worktop, or your breadboard if your worktop isn’t heatproof. Time 3 minutes on your watch – possibly by toasting your two thick slices of white bread in this time. Remove egg from water, and put it in an egg cup – open the top straight away.

Butter your toast, liberally – if you can’t see toothmarks in your butter when you bite, there isn’t enough of it. Cut one slice into soliders – generally, one slice of bread should be four soldiers. They need to dip right into your egg. Put half a teaspoon of butter into your soft egg yolk, and a pinch of salt too, as well as on the top of your egg. Use your soldiers to dip out all of the soft yolk. The rest of the egg is eaten one spoonful at a time, placed onto the toast and eaten. The top is eaten last – my parents used to eat mine, claiming cook’s tax, but if you’ve cooked yourself, that’s your final treat.

Easy.

Soft egg yolk is the ultimate in brunch food porn. It’s like when you see a photograph of a steak – the money shot is the cross section, the cross-grain of pink, rare beef. If you have photographed an egg, and you haven’t pierced the yolk, you are no good to me. Get out of the food porn game.

Jamie Oliver, brunch hero, king of the cross section food porn, knows what he’s doing, of course:

Photo and recipe from www.jamieoliver.com

Photo and recipe from jamieoliver.com

Once you’ve got your runny yolk, you have to know what you’re pairing it with. Egg yolk is rich, so it can add flavour and depth to something fresh and green, like these perfect asparagus dippers:

Photo and recipe from drizzleanddip.com

Photo and recipe from drizzleanddip.com

Or you can go all out – decadent poached egg yolk, salty ham, toasty ciabatta and melted cheese. Is there one part of that you would say “no” to – really?

Photo by Alexandra Stafford, recipe from BBC Food

Photo by Alexandra Stafford, recipe from BBC Food

Egg Yolk is a naturally occurring sauce, dip or salad dressing, bringing together every meal. Feel free to share your Friday Food Porn in the comments, and tell me your egg yolk tips – but don’t you dare suggest they should be hard boiled, or I will go all Piper Chapman on your ass.

Piper Chapman

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About hattiemily

London-based poet. Previously published on the underground, currently can't remember how to actually write.
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2 Responses to Food Porn Friday Episode 1: The Egg Yolk

  1. Peter says:

    The lovely thing about Brunch is…you can be eating it any time and nobody can call you greedy. I believe the English tradition is to have two brunches – the morning Brunch (BreakfastBrunch) and the mid-day Brunch (LunchBrunch). My LunchBrunch today was devilled kidneys and mash, with a garnish of crispy bacon.

    Like

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