Food Porn Friday Episode 3: The Croissant

Happy Friday! There’s a special dedication to this week’s post, as a dear friend of mine is moving on to bigger and better things. I will miss her but I’m also super proud. She asked me to write about “the croissant”. So I am.

I did some googling to find a basic intro to croissants, a la the past two weeks, but everyone is obsessed with “eating politely”. Blah blah blah don’t want buttery fingers blah blah blah don’t dip your croissant blah blah blah don’t get pastry crumbs everywhere. I’m writing a food porn blog not talking to my mother. Go home.

But seriously, even Jamie Oliver hardly talks about croissants. I think the conclusion I came to is, there are no rules to eating a croissant. Anyone who tells you otherwise is bullshitting you. Or possibly French.

I think, however, there are distinct schools of croissant eating:

  • The dippers

    Croissant and Coffee

    Picture By dustjacket-attic.com

With two dippable ends and a soft, buttery, absorbent middle, the croissant is perfect for dipping in your morning coffee. Or, if you’re going to be really authentic, hot chocolate. Take half a bar of dark chocolate, crumble it into a jug, cover it with full fat milk. Heat in the microwave for about a minute, then blend with stick blender. Continue to heat until it’s just about to boil. Proper hot chocolate. No fussing.

  • The spreaders
Photo and recipe from heatherchristo.com

Photo and recipe by heatherchristo.com

There were a lot of Nutella croissant fans on our twitter feed, and when I saw this I knew it had to be for them. Can you see the way the butter has turned the croissant that beautiful golden colour, mixed and caramelised the Nutella, and softened the banana just enough that you know the flavour has become that little bit tart? Yeah. Yeah.

  • The toasters
Photo and recipe by thegunnysack.com

Photo and recipe by thegunnysack.com

Let’s face it, it wouldn’t be Food Porn Friday without some melted cheese in there somewhere. This is a classic – the cheese and ham croissant – but done right, man, can it really be beaten? The croissant never has the crunch that a toastie will have, but what it loses in bite, it makes up for in butter.

For me, though, the number one way to go is a toasted croissant filled with creamy scrambled egg and soft, oily smoked salmon. No one does this classic better than Gordon Ramsay:

Did you see how much butter he used in his scrambled eggs? Did you see?

I hope that gives you a nice round-up of all the ways you can eat a croissant. There’s obviously going to be more – please share in the comments. I’ll see you next week!

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About hattiemily

London-based poet. Previously published on the underground, currently can't remember how to actually write.
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One Response to Food Porn Friday Episode 3: The Croissant

  1. What about the almond croissant? can be delicious, and has the obvious advantage that my husband won’t want to steal any of it…but sometimes so disappointing? Pret does a good one, but beware of any that are train buffet related, they are just going to be a huge stale disappointment….

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