Milk (Barcelona)

Hattie outside Milk


How we brunched:

So if you read my previous Food Porn Friday post you’ll know that I’ve been on holiday. Amy and I went for a week in Barcelona. We sunbathed by the pool and went to the beach and saw all the Gaudi (…from the outside, because we’re cheapskates) and had a lovely time. We also got to eat a lot of food.

Barcelona is probably my second food heaven (my first being Italy, my one true culinary love). Mainly because I am a seafood junkie. Amy is yet to be converted, but I revelled in my ability to eat a different shellfish at every meal. We had some of the best Paella ever at a little restaurant called Koxkera (cooked fresh rather than reheated like many of the tourist places do, so there’s a twenty minute wait if you order – not a problem if you order starters, like the tiny garlicky sautéed clams we had).

The thing is, seafood and brunch aren’t the most compatible food types. And whatever I led you to believe on Friday, Spain aren’t that big on brunch. It’s far too close to siesta time. We had a real struggle to find a restaurant for our brunch holiday special, so our hopes weren’t set too high.

When we arrived there was no one to greet us, so we sat down – assuming that casual café culture that permeates the Mediterranean. We were then told off, and moved. The restaurant seemed to be trying to do American 1980s theme – they kept playing odd 80s classics – but was far too dark and, well, Catalan, to pull that off. I ordered a smoothie – which was good – and pancakes and bacon – which had far too much maple syrup and far too little bacon, but good pancakes and well-cooked.

I’m a big fan of brunch, guys, don’t get me wrong. But I’m not going to pretend this was the culinary highlight of my trip. Most days, we skipped breakfast. If you want brunch in Barcelona, this is probably as good as you’ll get.

– Hattie 

The fun story about this brunch – we always have a fun story, that’s why we’ve have hundreds a couple of loyal fans! – is that we actually tried to go twice. Barcelona has one of those old, historic city centres where you have to go down five different alleys to find the road you actually want to go down, and sometimes you have to tap the brick three up and two across from the rubbish bins with your illegal wand and – wait, that’s Harry Potter, never mind.

Anyway, we tried to go early on in the week, optimistically thinking that we could get two blog posts out of our trip. Instead, we wandered around aimlessly getting more and more hungry, before finally giving up and going to a standard tourist place for a well-needed but average croissant and hot chocolate.

When we managed to find Milk a few days later, I was feeling pretty positive about it – I ordered “The Hamtastic Omelette” thinking it sounded suitably grandiose.

The omelette itself was good – the ham was all brilliant, I always love mushrooms, and the eggs were cooked well. I wasn’t convinced by the crème fraiche on top, there was a little too much for me, and the potatoes on the side were disappointing – the smaller ones were okay, but any medium to large size pieces weren’t cooked properly, and the largest was half raw.

Luckily the meal was so large that those faults didn’t impact the experience too much, as I was so full that I didn’t even finish the whole omelette in the end. But raw potatoes are pretty inexcusable.

Thankfully one average brunch wasn’t enough to dampen our holiday spirits, and we skipped off into the city with a spring in our step and 80s pop songs ringing in our ears.

– Amy

American pancakes with bacon

American pancakes with bacon

Popeye's Punch - containing spinach, orange juice and banana.

Popeye’s Punch – containing spinach, orange juice and banana.

"The Hamtastic Omelette"

“The Hamtastic Omelette”

Super Technical Brunch Scoring System:

– Eatability

3.5/5 – It wasn’t amazing but it served a purpose.

3/5 – Saved by the eggs. Just.

– Menu Range

4.5/5 – The classics, and a few personal touches, the menu doesn’t do badly.

4.5/5 – Yeah good options, good sides if you want.

– Drinks

4/5 – My smoothie was great, and they do tea, coffee, cocktails.

4/5 – I had the mint tea and it was pretty solid. (In flavour, not in consistency.)

– Sweets

3/5 – They had a specials board with 3 dessert options, but we didn’t try them.

2.5/5 – The specials ironically didn’t look too special and I didn’t try them so going with an average mark.

– Atmosphere

2.5/5 – There was a chatty Irish waitress, but overall it was just a bit odd.

2/5 – Yeah we didn’t feel particularly welcome and something was just kind of off about it.

– Value

3/5 – It’s not very expensive, for Barcelona, but the food isn’t great quality either

2.5/5 – There was a lot of food on my plate, it just wasn’t all cooked.

– Service

3/5 – Efficient, but not very friendly (though the Irish waitress did chat for ages to the Canadians at the table next to us)

2.5/5 – We weren’t seated and then we were told off for choosing our own seats. Not impressed.

– Social Media

1.5/5 – They have a twitter, but it’s just… not good…

1/5 – When she says “not good” she means it looks like this:

Maybe not.

Maybe time to review .

Total points: 47

Bonus categories:

Funky Choons: 5/5

Themed décor: 2/5

Bonus points: 7


The two decor points go mostly to that top photo of some nuns smoking.

The two decor points go mostly to that top photo of some nuns smoking together.

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