Amy vs Fruit: Blue moon

Part 1: Berry, berry sleepy.

Amy vs Fruit blueberries selfie

As you may be able to tell from the above selfie, this week I am TIRED. I’m not talking about the fun, slightly manic lack of sleep that usually leads to entertaining – if slightly deranged – blogging about the apocalypse or the election (basically the same thing anyway, amirite?) It’s more like “What is life and can I please spend it in bed watching Gilmore Girls and crying every time the characters are nice to each other?”

That would probably be impractical. Hattie would stop feeding me eventually.

Anyway: fruit. I think it would be quite useful to like blueberries, because blueberry pancakes are a staple brunch item, and it seems like a waste never to order them. Pancakes, guys!

Also blueberries are the “original superfood” or something, whatever.

More importantly: blueberries, I have quickly discovered, are about 80% nice. They have a bit of that sharp, acidic taste that I usually struggle with, but somehow with the blueberries it doesn’t bother me quite so much.

80% of the time.

The other 20% are sour and overpowering and terrible. I think the trick is to avoid the smaller ones – maybe they haven’t ripened properly or something? Who even knows what science is? Regardless, they are usually horrible. But the larger ones are sweet and rich and very pleasant.

Overall, I think the important thing is that I’m becoming accustomed to fruity flavours now. I only pulled the grossed-out fruit face once this time. If I can get past that sharpness, then there will be nothing left to hold me back.

Apart from the fruits with hair. That will never be okay.

Part two: CAKE

Blueberry ingredients

Let’s be honest: everybody’s favourite thing about working in an office is that people occasionally bring in cake. We probably all thought, as innocent children, that we would one day stop finding it so exciting when somebody had a birthday and brought in treats for the class. What tiny fools we were.

The sad thing is, sometimes there is cake because someone is leaving, and sometimes you really like that person. So I made a batch of blueberry cupcakes as a send off for my lovely colleague, Edgar, a man so wholly devoted to the joys of fruit that he once said that he thought a grape was “truly the most unobjectionable object in the world.”

Edgar, I’m sorry that I told you I object to grapes. I hope I didn’t crush your lovely dreams.

Step 1: I used this recipe, but essentially you are just making cupcake mixture and then stirring in blueberries. Start by creaming together butter and sugar, the best two ingredients in the entire world.

Step 2: Eggs. Beat.

Step 3: Milk. Beat. Not everyone likes putting milk into cake mixture, but I think it makes everything much softer and lighter.

Step 4: Fold in the flour. When I used to bake with my housemates at university, this is the point at which they would start yelling at me. Apparently the difference between folding and beating is crucial at this stage. I can’t remember why. (And the food blogger of the year award goes to…

Blueberry cake mixture

Step 5: Add the blueberries and stir.

Step 6: Pour into your paper cases. The recipe says it makes 12 muffins, but I easily made 16 when using small, cupcake sizes. I think that’s a better option for offices in particular: it makes it more fun, and people are less likely to go through the whole ‘Can I have half? Will anyone share?’ faff.

Step 7: Lick the cake mixture until the bowl is clean, naturally. Bake the muffins until golden on top.

Step 8: Take them to work the next day and bask in the glory of being everyone’s favourite employee.

Blueberry muffins

For those of you who get mad if I don’t review my own creations in the second half: they were lovely. Edgar had three. It was great.

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