Food Porn Friday – Episode 22: The Mushroom

Never, in all Food Porn Friday history, has a blog post provoked such outrage and confusion as my last one. A whole two – TWO – people messaged me to express their horror – “Where are the mushrooms?!”

Readers, I can only apologise. I don’t know how they could have been overlooked. I admit that once I was a mushroomskeptic, picking them out of my Bolognese with a mixture of disdain and fear, but those days are in the past. Mushrooms are our friend – fried up in garlic, sliced onto a pizza or, my personal favourite, whole button mushrooms in curries, bursting with flavour. They are also, of course, all but essential in a good brunch.

We’ll start with a healthy option. I have mixed feelings about the whole “egg white omelette” thing. I love egg yolk so much these days, but when I was a kid I never used to eat the yolk of an egg, and the slightly smoother texture and blander taste of an egg white omelette actually conjures up a lot of childhood nostalgia… and then I just use the yolks later to make carbonara.

Photo and recipe by FoodieCrush

Photo and recipe by FoodieCrush

I’ve been following Foodiecrush on Instagram for a while now and she posts as many indulgent recipes as healthy ones. I really think this will be best if you sautee the mushrooms with a bit of garlic first until they’re softened and golden and then add the eggs and spinach… mushrooms definitely taste better the more you cook them.

Apologies, but the next recipe is in Polish. I’m not really sure what it is. I think it’s mozzarella and mushrooms on toast, and how bad could that be?

Food and recipe from kwestiasmaku.com

Photo and recipe from kwestiasmaku.com

One of my remaining fussy things is a dislike of strong cheese tastes, and I always opt for a mozzarella option – the way it melts, the creamy texture and milky taste, much easier to spike with other flavours. Well-cooked mushrooms, garlic, parsley, lemon, for example. I’m just speculating here. I can’t read Polish.

This is a slightly unconventional baked-eggs:

Photo and recipe from

Photo and recipe from Kalyn’s Kitchen

I know – there’s no tomato (this one’s for you, Tilly.) But there is dark garlicy mushroom, and runny egg, and cheese. So do you really have any grounds for complaint?

Here, at Best Brunch ever, we’re all about looking ahead. Next #FoodPornFriday I’ll be eating meat again… *checks calendar*… CHRIST, HOW MANY FRIDAYS DOES THIS MONTH BLOODY HAVE?! Nonetheless, I’m finishing up with a meat option:

Photo and recipe from Jeanette's Healthy Living

Photo and recipe from Jeanette’s Healthy Living

Aubergine, red pepper, sausage, a beautifully poached egg on top… I can taste this as I type. Oh god, sausage, I’ve missed you… (Oi! No jokes! This blog is purely food porn, not the other kind).

I’ll be back in a fortnight – requests for topics are appreciated (seriously, guys, I’m running out of ideas).

About hattiemily

London-based poet. Previously published on the underground, currently can't remember how to actually write.
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